That would be the norm for someone who cares only about about themselves(and how you leaving impacts them), rather than helping to grow and support their employees. Is it normal? Yes. Is it the type of person you choose to work for given a choice, definitely not.
As the person that has been on the receiving end of this news before, it can catch you off guard and it can still be difficult to not say the wrong things. A few years ago I had a staff member leave that I'd spent a lot of time grooming and working closely with. They were clearly disappointed to be leaving but the opportunity was a significantly better one and I'm happy they were given the chance(well, poached by a mutual acquaintance). In the first conversation we had, I went through every stage of grief in a 15 minute conversation. I'm certain I said things like "but we're just starting to make progress on X" and "I was really counting on having you around for Y". A few days later I apologized and expressed my excitement for them and congratulated them properly. We are still in contact today and I'm happy things have worked out for them.
At the end of the day, the person on the other side of the table is still a person. They have their own vision of how things are going or what's coming down the line. Something like this can really throw a wrench in those plans. Should they only think of themselves? No. Might they say the wrong things in the moment? Yes.
You are an employee trading his money for your time. If another employer can trade you 50% more money for the same amount of time then good on you.
At the very least, whining about your imminent departure should also include an offer of similar pay... if not? Empty words.
The corona crap forced them to freeze hiring and pay increases. On top of leaving I took a Volentary Separation Package, that my chain of command couldn't stop. My leadership had the opportunity over the last two years to correct this. I just couldn't refuse these numbers.
If it helps, remember that if they needed to let you go you would receive 0 notice. You’ve given a more than adequate notice; keep your head high and congratulations!
Sounds like losing you is going to hurt them. It’s a simple trade of your time and skills for money. If there’s an imbalance in the trade, it makes sense to go elsewhere.
Him reacting in that way is merely confirmation that you're making the right decision. Since he did you a favor, do him one in return and let him know that's the case.
Is it normal for your boss guilt trip you when you tell them your leaving for more money?
If they're a shitty boss yes. Usually they are also part of the reason I'm leaving though, not just the money. A good boss who cannot pay you (due to various things in the company he/she cannot control) what you're worth will be sad to see you go, but happy for you.
What responsibility do you have to him? If he valued his business, he'd pay you what you're worth, and thus you wouldn't have been interested in a different opportunity.
The only person you owe anything to in this world is yourself. You owe him nothing. You went to work, did what was asked of you, and that's the end of it. If they don't want to pay you for the effort you've put in, then they shouldn't be surprised you're moving on.
It amazes me how many idiots their are in high positions in businesses who have to resort to guilt trips, or concessions.
No it’s not really normal, though if you have a good personal relationship with them, they may just be a little hurt over it. In the long run I’m sure they get it. I’ve always generally had bosses who understood the reasonings and though they were sad to see me go, they were ok with it.
When I left my last job, it was important for me to not leave them in a bind so I gave a 30 day notice and then had my new company extend them a service contract for 1-2 months. We still do some work and projects together to this day. Never burn bridges people. Business in built on strong personal relationships and a bit of that human connection.
No regrets man. If you want to have personal growth they are usually feel annoyed pissed/raged because they cannot have any more control (over you). Good luck with the new job.
Tbf, the boss may have regretted that talk afterward. If he was caught off guard, and began to panic about how it will affect him, he may not have had a chance to check his thoughts and respond more reasonably. High pressure and quick reactions are a recipe for regret.
Yep. I had a manager tell me what I was asking for was completely unreasonable but I essentially owed them for the opportunities they'd given me so I should reconsider in 4 weeks time. Bye then.
Yes! I actually just went through this very same thing. They knew I was overworked and underpaid, and when I put in my two weeks notice for another company offering more money my boss did they same exact thing and tried to make me feel bad and guilt trap me.
I've moved companies twice in the past 10 years. I don't tell them why or to where - it's none of their business. If they're too stupid not to comprehend what a reasonable salary is then let them wallow in their own idiocy.
No it’s not normal but why are you telling current company/boss the reason you’re leaving? Just go, they’re not owed an explanation for your departure.
I am a the sole IT for his department. I do everything. I did owe him at least the reason, so he can correct the situation for the next person in my role.
Not sure if it’s pessimism on my behalf or naivety on yours but your boss is not going to do much about the salary they offer your replacement unless they have their arm twisted by the person taking the job.
That sucks. It happens. Coming from being the boss I can understand losing a good employee and the uncertainty that comes with having to hire someone else. It's not your burden to bear, chances are he just has some sort of connection with you and feels that he can rag on you, it's his way of dealing with the grief that is to come with losing someone good. Him admitting you are under valued was his acknowledgement of the situation, and in a way saying he doesn't blame you. If this was a large company with endless payroll he is just an ass, if it's a smaller company then I would just take his guilt trip as a complement that he doesn't know what he is going to do without you. My business is not in IT but when I have had to try to find good help I always paid them everything I could possible afford, sometimes to the point I had to personally skip meals to make sure they got their money, they were worth more than what I was paying them but it was all I could afford. Every situation is different though, just thought maybe hearing a perception from the other side in one way or another might help you decipher your bosses thoughts.
That would be the norm for someone who cares only about about themselves(and how you leaving impacts them), rather than helping to grow and support their employees. Is it normal? Yes. Is it the type of person you choose to work for given a choice, definitely not.
Way to make the move, good luck on your new role.
As the person that has been on the receiving end of this news before, it can catch you off guard and it can still be difficult to not say the wrong things. A few years ago I had a staff member leave that I'd spent a lot of time grooming and working closely with. They were clearly disappointed to be leaving but the opportunity was a significantly better one and I'm happy they were given the chance(well, poached by a mutual acquaintance). In the first conversation we had, I went through every stage of grief in a 15 minute conversation. I'm certain I said things like "but we're just starting to make progress on X" and "I was really counting on having you around for Y". A few days later I apologized and expressed my excitement for them and congratulated them properly. We are still in contact today and I'm happy things have worked out for them.
At the end of the day, the person on the other side of the table is still a person. They have their own vision of how things are going or what's coming down the line. Something like this can really throw a wrench in those plans. Should they only think of themselves? No. Might they say the wrong things in the moment? Yes.
Just go. This is about you and your life, not him.
This.
You are an employee trading his money for your time. If another employer can trade you 50% more money for the same amount of time then good on you. At the very least, whining about your imminent departure should also include an offer of similar pay... if not? Empty words.
The corona crap forced them to freeze hiring and pay increases. On top of leaving I took a Volentary Separation Package, that my chain of command couldn't stop. My leadership had the opportunity over the last two years to correct this. I just couldn't refuse these numbers.
50% easily trumps whatever they wouls offer anyway. Total no brainer.
Good on you.
It's normal. Old boss tried to guilt me into staying on another four weeks.
They don't want to do the work to keep you, so guilt is all they have.
Yeah I was asked to change my departure date, said no, I start my new role before that. I gave him more than 3 weeks.
If it helps, remember that if they needed to let you go you would receive 0 notice. You’ve given a more than adequate notice; keep your head high and congratulations!
He's losing a cheap employee, of course he's irked and laying on the "but we've been so good to you!" bullshit.
Upside, you can also tell him as he whinges, "I can make today my last day if that'll make your life easier."
Totally normal.
For shitty employers at a crap job. Leave with a clear conscience.
Sounds like losing you is going to hurt them. It’s a simple trade of your time and skills for money. If there’s an imbalance in the trade, it makes sense to go elsewhere.
Your boss should have kept his/her mouth shut and been a professional. If this is the way they want to be you are better off elsewhere.
Him reacting in that way is merely confirmation that you're making the right decision. Since he did you a favor, do him one in return and let him know that's the case.
If they're a shitty boss yes. Usually they are also part of the reason I'm leaving though, not just the money. A good boss who cannot pay you (due to various things in the company he/she cannot control) what you're worth will be sad to see you go, but happy for you.
It's normal if your boss has succeeded to manipulate you in this way in the past.
Get better at seeing though, and ignoring, manipulation. You will encounter it everywhere.
Yes, I studied him. I know what he is. You are correct.
What responsibility do you have to him? If he valued his business, he'd pay you what you're worth, and thus you wouldn't have been interested in a different opportunity.
The only person you owe anything to in this world is yourself. You owe him nothing. You went to work, did what was asked of you, and that's the end of it. If they don't want to pay you for the effort you've put in, then they shouldn't be surprised you're moving on.
It amazes me how many idiots their are in high positions in businesses who have to resort to guilt trips, or concessions.
Forget about him. And congrats on the new job.
No it’s not really normal, though if you have a good personal relationship with them, they may just be a little hurt over it. In the long run I’m sure they get it. I’ve always generally had bosses who understood the reasonings and though they were sad to see me go, they were ok with it.
When I left my last job, it was important for me to not leave them in a bind so I gave a 30 day notice and then had my new company extend them a service contract for 1-2 months. We still do some work and projects together to this day. Never burn bridges people. Business in built on strong personal relationships and a bit of that human connection.
My last boss offered an increase but when I told him what I’d be making at the new job he just congratulated me and we BSed for a bit.
That is the type of person I want to be.
No regrets man. If you want to have personal growth they are usually feel annoyed pissed/raged because they cannot have any more control (over you). Good luck with the new job.
Tbf, the boss may have regretted that talk afterward. If he was caught off guard, and began to panic about how it will affect him, he may not have had a chance to check his thoughts and respond more reasonably. High pressure and quick reactions are a recipe for regret.
Just leave. If he is a honest guy he would keep on increasing your salary.
Yep. I had a manager tell me what I was asking for was completely unreasonable but I essentially owed them for the opportunities they'd given me so I should reconsider in 4 weeks time. Bye then.
That is what he was laying down in our conversation.
Screw him dude. You don't owe them shit. Congratulations on getting a job where you're paid what you deserve.
Yes! I actually just went through this very same thing. They knew I was overworked and underpaid, and when I put in my two weeks notice for another company offering more money my boss did they same exact thing and tried to make me feel bad and guilt trap me.
I hope you heal. Don't let the burn out get to ya. That was one of the major reasons I am moving.
"Fuck you, pay me"
I've moved companies twice in the past 10 years. I don't tell them why or to where - it's none of their business. If they're too stupid not to comprehend what a reasonable salary is then let them wallow in their own idiocy.
Lol 50% more. Offcourse he is shaming you, it's all he got.
If it's a lousy boss. I would take it as verification that I am doing the right thing.
It's pretty normal. They are upset that you aren't subscribed to the idea that you should be very thankful that they LET you work for them.
F them. Spend your next two weeks helping the colleagues you give a damn about, but beyond that relax and enjoy the lighter workload.
No it’s not normal but why are you telling current company/boss the reason you’re leaving? Just go, they’re not owed an explanation for your departure.
I am a the sole IT for his department. I do everything. I did owe him at least the reason, so he can correct the situation for the next person in my role.
Not sure if it’s pessimism on my behalf or naivety on yours but your boss is not going to do much about the salary they offer your replacement unless they have their arm twisted by the person taking the job.
Just because I am leaving, I don't wish ill will on then, in that respect, everything is a learning opportunity. At least that's how I see it.
That sucks. It happens. Coming from being the boss I can understand losing a good employee and the uncertainty that comes with having to hire someone else. It's not your burden to bear, chances are he just has some sort of connection with you and feels that he can rag on you, it's his way of dealing with the grief that is to come with losing someone good. Him admitting you are under valued was his acknowledgement of the situation, and in a way saying he doesn't blame you. If this was a large company with endless payroll he is just an ass, if it's a smaller company then I would just take his guilt trip as a complement that he doesn't know what he is going to do without you. My business is not in IT but when I have had to try to find good help I always paid them everything I could possible afford, sometimes to the point I had to personally skip meals to make sure they got their money, they were worth more than what I was paying them but it was all I could afford. Every situation is different though, just thought maybe hearing a perception from the other side in one way or another might help you decipher your bosses thoughts.
Thanks, I needed to hear that perspective.